Spent about a couple of hours walking in the drizzle during the night earlier.. There's something really therapeutic about feeling the raindrops against my skin, the splatter against the top of my head, raindrops dripping along my face, the smell and sensation of rain around me.. A timely reminder that the world is as real as the thoughts going through my mind..

Spent some time thinking about recent events.. Particularly on this feeling I'm having.



Maybe. It would have been best if I never felt anything for you. If I don't feel any attraction towards you. It would have been less distracting and conflicting for me. Maybe it was never meant to be, I was never meant to like you or be together with you.

But now that I do have these feelings, maybe the best thing for me to do is to move on. To accept that these feelings I have for you are most likely unreciprocated. To let you go, and watch you walk away with another man you truly deserve.

Life is a journey, watching the story of our lives unfold right before our very eyes as we live each day. Perhaps I'm not in yours, and this is how mine plays out. Watching and letting go, time after time. You are probably just another chapter in my story, and it's time that this chapter closes.



I always thought it would be so much easier to live my life making the people around me happy. I guess I'm too naive to believe that way, even though I still truly want to. I rather live through the pain myself, and hope that you live yours happy and fulfilled. You belong to someone better.

Life is unfair. Fate seems cruel. But I can take it. I can tolerate it.
Because I want to, for the sake of you, and everyone else around me.
Because God will want me to.




~I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry

But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cos I'm just holding on for tonight~

(I still hope I'm wrong, that this chapter doesn't end. But no point prolonging the pain)