I stayed up till 2 writing my thesis, and in between and after doing so, couldn't resist watching videos and reading tributes and articles about Mr Lee Kuan Yew.

I guess this week has been a rather emotional one, not just for me, but for the people of this nation. We lost a founding father, a figure whom I've grown up watching, reading and learning about, but never really knowing the man.

Over the years, I've built an image of this figure in my head. Powerful, assertive, sharp, intelligent, old but somewhat invincible. Yes, for a time, I've truly felt nothing could ever keep this man away from Singapore, and nothing could ever stop him or bring him down.

In the last few years, this image soften. Fatherly, tender, caring, loving, frail. Human. After all, he is still a human.

A big one at that.

This week, tributes from all over, articles and recordings and videos of all his past rallies, speeches and public discussions brought the first image of him back. Watching him so confidently asserting his views, rallying his people, and ferociously fighting for what he believed in. And then there are the articles showing the tender and softer side of his life. His relationship with his wife, children, colleagues and co-workers, people who watch after him, and everyone in between.

I couldn't help but tear up. He was a giant among men. Fighting for a nation he took a personal stake in. Fighting his way in an arena he was thrust into. But a gentle giant he was, human and affectionate. His love to his family and to his people is filled with such passion and tenderness. He was a loving husband to his wife, and a caring father to his nation.

Over the years, culminating to this past week, I've gotten to know more about the man who shaped the very history of the place I call home. He is the culmination of both images, imposing into one. He was truly one of a kind. His life so intricately intertwined with this nation and with the lives of his people, he is truly a father to us all.

Thank you Mr Lee, for taking on this fight. For wrestling your way through this arena and for believing in Singapore. Thank you for your undying tenacity, ferociously standing up for your people,  building a nation that you've envisioned. Thank you for boldly bringing this nation out from the chaos, and into the world. Thank you for securing the stability and success of this very nation that we proudly call home.

Singapore is your very legacy, and it is not complete. But do not worry, it is time for you to rest. It is time for your children to step out and carry on this work. We will always remember your legacy, and we will learn to fight with that same fervour you taught us all to keep it growing.

Rest well Mr Lee, and rest in peace. You are with your loved one now. And a part of you will forever be in us, and in Singapore.

I guess what hurts wasn't so much your "no", but my misplaced expectations and my inability to be the one whom you're ready for.

I don't know how many more "I'm not ready" I can emotionally take.

But I guess the wise thing to do is to let go and let you find God and yourself. Perhaps things would become clearer for you by then. All I wish is for you to find what you seek, in God and in yourself, and that you're happy with everything that comes your way.

I'll always be here for you. I've always been, for 11 years. And counting.

I hope by then when you're ready, you know that I've always been by your side waiting, and praying for you to find what you seek, ready for the new journey ahead.

Hopefully, I'll be the one you know that you're ready for. And even if it's another guy, I hope you find the happiness with that man who truly deserves you, and that you are ready for.

Because I'll always be here for you, and all I wish is that you're happy with everything that comes your way.