Early this morning, I bade farewell to my maternal grandma, the last grandparent in my immediate family..

I've never met my grandfathers, both paternal and maternal. I was told they passed away around the period I was born, or before, somewhere along that line.. My paternal grandma passed away 12 years ago, and now my maternal grandma. For them to live for decades without their husbands by their side must have been really lonely and hard on them.. Yet they strongly lived on with love for their family and children, and to us their grandchildren. Their strength and resilience and lovingness are unrelenting and admirable.. My great regret is not spending more time with them and talking to them and learning from them. Last time I seen my grandma was 2 weeks ago at the hospital, for a brief 15 minutes. I should have taken more time out to visit her at the hospital, to see her again..

Yet in that 15 minutes I could see her energy, the life in her body. Pained, but still fighting. And in peace. She knew it wasn't long for her time to come, yet she did not let it get to her. She was a stubborn old lady all these years, who fought to live her life without constraints, even in pain. I could feel her warmth in her hands and voice, as she grabbed onto mine and called my name, and tried to talk to me. She lived her last days still fighting, stubbornly refusing to give in, and went away peacefully.

Dear grandma, thank you for everything. Your love, kindness, and resilience. We weren't extremely close, but looking at you living through these 20 odd years have taught me so much more. I pray that you'll be headed to a better place, one where pain and hurt doesn't exist anymore, and that you'll be with your loved ones, where you'll be surrounded by joy and love.

May you rest in peace.

Love.