TommiHJY

2012-02-05T11:54:00.000+08:00

Earth Song - Frank Ticheli

Sing, Be, Live, See
This dark stormy hour,
the wind, it stirs.
The scorched Earth cries out in vain.

Oh war and power, you blind and blur. The torn heart cries out in pain.

But music and singing have been my refuge,
and music and singing shall be my light.

A light of song, shining strong.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah.

Through darkness and pain and strife,
I'll sing, I'll be, live, see.

Peace.

moving piece. I love it, a lot, seriously..

hope for the world.

2012-01-05T00:46:00.001+08:00

sometimes I wonder, if it'll be better for us not to have the freedom to think too much into things..

not to get sucked into the whirlpool of human emotions and affections and psychology..

but of course, it's God's gift for us to have emotions, to feel for everything around us..

2011-12-12T22:10:00.001+08:00

weakness....

2011-12-04T22:22:00.002+08:00

It's hard to learn to let things go..

It's probably harder to learn to not hold on to those things..

2011-11-30T10:06:00.002+08:00

"If you care about somebody, you should want them to be happy.. Even if you wind up being left out"~~~

2011-11-28T19:36:00.000+08:00

pity the world..

It's falling to immorality and lack of values...

Why, be so self-centred? :(

2011-11-25T19:24:00.000+08:00

fact: it is INCREDIBLY RUDE to just change the channel on the TV and lie down on the couch to watch your programme when someone else was already playing game on it.. and when that person wants to return to his game after pausing for AN HOUR JUST FOR YOU, it's REPULSIVELY RUDE to not budge..

2011-11-17T19:26:00.000+08:00

As it goes, physics did not go as well as I hoped for..

What a way to end the module..

And I fear the same for the rest of my modules..

I don't know why, I keep telling myself not to get so preoccupied with results, and learn to enjoy the uni life by doing what I like and enjoy, rather than bury myself in studies, because this is, after all, the last few years I can actually afford to do so..

But somehow, my mindset keeps going back to the results-oriented attitude.. Deep down, I yearn for that A, just to prove something..

But prove what? I really have no idea.. Prove that I'm capable in my studies? Prove that I'm smart?

Do I really need that? Is that endless chase for good cap the ultimate goal I wish to achieve in this 4 years? I wonder how long more must I remain conflicted before I make up my decision...

Its fruitless....

2011-10-30T00:44:00.000+08:00

looking back, things have changed..

life has moved on.. the friends I interacted with changed.. The group of people I hang around with changed..

everyone has moved on..

my old cell blog is still in my blogger dashboard.. went back to take a look, and lots of fond memories came back to me.. the days back in school when we'd have CG on Thursday evenings.. the Saturdays when we'll have lunch together, then go for service, and then dinner after that together again.. the random outings we have to steamboats, basketball, chitchat and simple gatherings..

memories of the people there came back as well.. still vividly remember the same core group of people.. and some fleeting memories of people whom I've seen only a couple of times and never really interacted much.. a few years on, quite a lot has changed.. some have become quite distant, some are now actively serving in the various ministries in Hope, others are either MIA or I have no idea how their lives are going..

life goes on..

always cherish the people you've hung out with before.. some of them could have the greatest influence in your life that you probably never knew.. although with time, some of these relationships will inevitably change, but in the moment when we were together, I had learnt some of my greatest lessons with and from these people..

so thank you all my different friends, whom I've spent much of my time in the past with.. life certainly has meaning with you all making a difference in my life. even though we might never meet or hang out like we used to, know that at least for even that brief moment of interaction, you've left a part of yourself in my fondest memories.

2011-10-10T10:02:00.000+08:00

not having a girlfriend, doesn't mean not having a social life, or giving a bad impression, ornot appreciating and enjoying life..

it simply means..

just not having a girlfriend..

don't think too much or get influenced by stupid thoughts of needing one...

2011-10-05T09:18:00.000+08:00

strangely, you've just.. disappeared..

no idea where or when or what.. no returning messages, no email, no fb msgs.. no activity..

just gone..

where?

is this what you wish for us? total contact-less.... avoiding..

why??

2011-09-28T07:01:00.000+08:00

4/10

that's the number of questions i ACTUALLY got correct...

assuming the other 5 questions which i randomly shaded the answers...

I FLUNKED LIKE SHIT

screw maths.. screw me...

2011-09-28T00:01:00.000+08:00

MATHS!!! WHYYYY :(:(

i can't believe it.. im utterly disgusted and disappointed at myself..

how and whY! its just pure stupidity! what the hell's wrong with me!!!

SUCKS man JUST SUCKS.. I IS FAILZ

:'( :'(

sigghhhh sucks day... just crappy....

NYTIMES PERSONALITY QUIZ: TECH GURU
You are something of a traditionalist in your attitude to life and the perfectionist in you is constantly seeking the ideal blend of formality and pleasure in your lifestyle. Your down to earth nature and sense of structure is what makes it attainable. You like to be challenged by thought provoking subjects and tend to find out all the facts before forming your own opinion.

You have an inquisitive mind and possess an irresistible urge to experiment with everything around you. You're a real get-up-and-go kind of person who likes to keep at least one finger on the pulse of everything that's hot and happening from the latest movies and sport to the coolest technologies and gadgets. A true entertainment junkie, there's no chance of you ever getting bored and you're always the first to get your hands on some shiny new gizmo that's going to revolutionize your life. You have a realistic outlook on what you can achieve and enjoy attention to detail in most aspects of your life. You shouldn't miss David Pogue - you can find him on nytimes.com through his columns, videos or weekly e-mail.

2011-09-26T22:01:00.000+08:00

I believe in the sun, even when its not shining.
I believe in love, even when I do not feel it.~~

just rambling... I'm more or less dead for midterms this week... perhaps finding such quotes to distract myself to the happiness of life rather than the depressing state of my studies...

願心中永遠留著我的笑容
伴你走過每一個春夏秋冬

2011-09-22T08:46:00.000+08:00

"The irony is that Jesus knew who would desert Him, and yet this did not dictate how He treated them." -Living Life 22/9

I pray I have that tolerance...

2011-09-21T00:41:00.000+08:00

was reading a friend's tumblr when i came across the depressing portraits of closed bookstores..

admittedly, I was never a fan of bookstores or libraries or book cafes or any of that sort.. In my mind, I would rather spend the time chilling either at home, or taking a stroll or just spending my time outside alone or with friends.. Books was never made a big part of my life, majority of which is my fault..

Yes I hated reading, I hated the idea that my eyes have to scan through all those hundreds upon thousands of characters and texts and words, and then having to process them in my head into a form of literary expressions I can understand.. I found reading more of a chore than a joy, simply because..

I. Was. Too. Lazy. To. Read..

Or so I thought..

I often envied and respected people who rave on about how they get such satisfaction reading this book, or that book, or how much they really want to squeeze the time outside of their already hectic schedules just to sit down and read a particular book they just got and really just enjoy the peace and joy of reading..

Envied, because, deep down inside, I really wanted to be like them, being able to just grab a book and immerse myself into a world of "literary bliss", to be so engaged in the writer's expression and just be oblivious to my surroundings, engaging myself in the world of literature and expressions..

Respect, because these people are able to express themselves in a way far beyond my league, to be able to express fully their thoughts and ideas, using all those different forms of literary expressions they picked up from years of reading..

Seeing all those portraits of closed bookstores, I start to regret why I hadn't actually pushed myself to read more.. There's a sense of, perhaps loss I should say, that I've probably wasted more hours doing nothing than actually making the effort to even read a book from cover to cover.. There are still stacks of books lying around in shelves at home that haven't been touched in ages, books that I started reading since primary school, but have yet to be finished even till today..

And outside, bookstores are already struggling to make a decent living, given all these competition and hype over e-books and appstores offering books for purchase. Yes, I do agree that no e-books or digital books ever come close to the experience of opening a physical book and lounging on the sofa flipping through the pages..

Maybe one day, just that one day, I might find that joy in reading that I've always envied..

perhaps..

2011-09-13T23:14:00.000+08:00

" friends keep u happy. TRUE friends tell truths that may make u sad now, but will make u happy in the long run. :)" -anonymous

true friends tell truth that may make you sad, but not shame you in public by disguising an accused criticism as a harmless fun joke, that is just a joke gone bad and which has crossed the line..

true friends give you HONEST criticism, and i have no problems accepting honest criticism, but not baseless accusations and criticisms about my character and personality, because that is just a harmful personal attack.. i do joke about it and accept the jokes even when its done in my face, but to do it behind someone's back is just plain sly and disrespectful..

BUT! even if i dislike what he has done, i still respect him because he has the guts to talk to me and apologise and admit his fault, and still be willing to clear the misunderstanding and learn from his mistake. granted i have a part to play in this misunderstanding and commotion, but at least he's willing to listen to how i feel and understand the appropriateness of the situation with respect to other's viewpoints. this is what a TRUE FRIEND really is, someone who is honest with you, and unashamed and humble in his character to know where he crossed the line and still be repentant about it. its not only about truths that make you sad or happy in the long run..

so, mr anonymous, please don't make superficial statements like that, please rethink your idea of a true friend, because you're degrading the true value of what true friendship really stands for, and it makes me sick to think that you can be so misconstrued to that level.

2011-08-13T23:28:00.000+08:00

new perspective, new view.. I'm immensely happy and proud of you, respect..

God has been good, not just to me..

please see it..

thank you.. your life and events have been a thorough affirmation for me, an insight to His glory and love that I really need to see again for myself

all the best

2011-08-12T06:53:00.000+08:00

-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
— Lynnette, age 8

yes, us men have emotions too.. after awhile, something needs to come out... let it out to God..

but even if there's noone who bothers to listen to you, what's the point...

2011-08-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

even when i find solace in God..

i can't find solace in the group..

even when i find security in God..

I can't find security in the group..

even when i sensitize myself to God..

i can't desensitize myself to the group...

is this supposed to be right? i don't feel like it is..

2011-08-01T00:04:00.000+08:00

i don't know why..

my mind is in a mess..

there's something wrong.. i lost confidence, i lost self-esteem, i seem to lose any shred of hope i have of myself..

the strange thing is, i know it's wrong..

but why am i not doing anything about it? where's my willpower? where's God's voice telling me what/how i should be doing about it?

where's my self-consciousness ?

i'm feeling distant even towards myself.. i don't seem to get what's in me or in my head.. i seem, different, even to myself..

where am i heading to?

WHO can i turn to?

precisely.. WHO?

God, so i kneel before You.. it's just You and me, my heart and soul and spirit..

no sorry, it's not even about me..

God, so i kneel before You.. YOU shall show me and tell me..

YOU alone shall be my answer..

2011-07-28T10:58:00.002+08:00

The best way of removing negativity is to laugh and be joyous.

-David Icke

2011-07-28T01:59:00.003+08:00

because..

a third of me wants to tell..

a third of me can't bring myself to tell..

the last third of me is just indifferent..

2011-07-25T20:41:00.000+08:00

"Another interesting characteristic of children is that they have no problems asking or receiving. Their general nature is a trusting nature. They're so strong in it, it becomes a boldness that is remarkable. They have no hesitation, because they know the giving, loving nature of their parents. Their parents love them and want to give to them.

God wants His children to be like that. He desires them to be so secure in His presence that they come freely to Him in total confidence, knowing that as their Father, He will care for them in every area of their lives. He wants them to have faith that He will give to them and provide for their needs."

-Effective Fervent Prayer by Mary Alice Isleib-

how awesome and amazing!

2011-07-12T09:37:00.000+08:00

slightly less than a month left..

am i prepared? not exactly sure.. it's been almost since i last picked up my physics text to read.. and now i'm gonna face more physics for the next 4 years, not exactly sure if i'm gonna enjoy or be bored by it..

but at least God has been kind to open doors wherever i go.. i guess if this is the way to go, then i should be at least happy about this decision..nothing much i can do about it anyway, so i'm just gonna take a big step forward and do the best i can...

CHIONG AH

2011-07-03T23:11:00.000+08:00

"Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's real rebellion!"

" Yeah, well, it was funny. If was like, you know... When I did take the cure for alcohol, which by the way was not a cure, it was a healing. I came out of the hospital never, ever being tempted by a drink, never, ever being like in the least bit, under the worst stress, ever thinking about taking a drink, never went to AA. Everybody's sitting there going, "Wow, what great willpower." I have no willpower. I came out and it was a total... It was a healing. My dad was a pastor, my grandad was a pastor, my wife's father is a pastor, and I'm Christian now. It was a... people say, "There are no miracles," and I go, "Oh, yes there are." I'm a walking miracle because I was the worst alcoholic you could imagine, and 24 years I haven't had, not a drop."

-Alice Cooper (wikipedia)

2011-06-01T20:54:00.000+08:00

yale asked: what's my meaning in life..

chim no? I haven't really thought about it actually, like really sat down to think about it..
the question caught me by surprise, because I think, it's time that I actually thought about it, like seriously..

I guess for me, most importantly is to live a contented life.. I have dreams and passion, I work towards my dreams and passions, but I don't want to get sucked into the endless cycle of work and life.. I guess I've been blessed much by God to be able to live so comfortably and contented with the blessings He has given.. what better family can I have? what better friends can I ask for? what better dreams and passions and opportunities can I hope for?

I don't have big dreams or aspirations.. people say to chase your dreams and be ambitious, but I'm not one to go all out.. Not that I don't strive to achieve or do my best.. But everytime I look back at my past, I feel contented at how everything has unfolded..

To me, I try to just be appreciative at what God has done and is doing in my life... and perhaps to make the world a better and happier place to live in for the people around me.. it doesn't matter if certain things don't work out the way I want or hope for, sometimes I fail, whether be it studies, work, family, relationships.. but I look forward to what tomorrow brings, and I'm happy to have reached so far ahead in life..

What makes me happy and contented is probably much of seeing the people around me are happy and contented as well.. spreading the joy, sharing the pains, fighting the sorrows, whatever it takes to make people cheer up.. my sadness is not worth other people's happiness, and as much as I can, I tend to keep my emotions to myself so that I can share in other people's happiness.. and seeing them happy helps me to get myself back on my feet, and to realise what joy and contentment really means to me..

So, have I answered the question? maybe, maybe not.. but at least now I know what I really look forward to in my life, and what really matters to me probably..

2011-05-30T23:01:00.002+08:00

and as it happened before and will always happen..

both DSTA and NUS rejected my scholarship app

I'm gonna pay my way through uni...

:)

2011-05-20T23:14:00.002+08:00

I’ve been away for awhile
I gave my word when I returned
And I come back with a smile,
And I don’t come back at all
The World is throwing blows,
But I ain’t backing off
Everybody claiming they want to grow,
But they just slacking off
It took a lot of years to put the hood behind me
The best advice I got was that I had to find me
Another day, another challenge
I never thought I’d see the day I’d be rewarded for my talents

And if you ever call up,
And say you fell down
It feels good that I can finally help them all up
I’m doing well now,
Let’s go to the mall now
We ain’t gotta split the bill,
I told you I got all us
Came a long way from those ghettos on the east coast
The 7th letter, 6 number, flying high who needs coach
I miss my son up in my arms, miss my homies, miss my mom’s
So home cooking with the bomb

This once’s for all my people in the struggle,
Unemployed or working double shifts,
Take your head and lift it in the air,
One fist in the air
Reach for the stars, you’re almost there,
You can’t make it, I’ve been there,
You can’t take it, I’ve been there
Given that all the hope is gone,
Find something to focus on,
You need motivation,
That’s the reason why we play this song
To let you know you’re not out in this World on your own,
And the only time you’re going back,
Is when you’re going home

2011-05-05T10:45:00.003+08:00

im super happy and proud of y'all

I realised that, the true meaning of the rioHC spirit, is not just about singing or music-making, whether be it individually or just in any group..

It is about the passion and love for singing, with the people you love and trust, the ones you really don't mind spending all day long breaking out into songs and random sing-alongs... On the stage, the connection you feel with the people on stage with you, with the conductor, with the audience, is just really immense.

It is really the rioHC spirit, it's the rioHC family.. it's hard to put a finger on it, but when it happens, somehow we know and feel it deeply within us, whether we're up on stage, or just listening to them from down below..

Where the heart really is. Another Home.

It'll probably be impossible for me to stay away from rioHC and voices. It's too big a deal to give it up.. I'll never miss it for the world...

Music can really do what words cannot. Expressions of passion, family, togetherness.. That is our spirit, that is the spirit of rioHC.

thank you for the music, for the love, for spreading the joy of music to everyone out there..

thank you for the passion, the family, the conviction, the spirit.

thank you for everything

2011-05-01T07:20:00.000+08:00

I’m coming home
I’m coming home
Tell the World I’m coming home
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes
I’m coming home, I’m coming home
Tell the World that I’m coming

2011-04-23T23:38:00.002+08:00

I need God..

like really really..

ABSOLUTELY NEED GOD

2011-04-18T21:27:00.000+08:00

cut me, do I not bleed?
poison me, do I not die?
rob me, do I not take revenge?

only human.. the flesh is weak..

the mind succumbs..

2011-04-17T16:05:00.003+08:00

not giving up?

nonsense..

evidently, I'm not strong enough to move on alone..

2011-04-16T23:17:00.000+08:00

for something so simple, it's actually quite hard to get it off inside of me..

turned to prayers to work, but I guess it's just me...

a wound left untreated properly never heals... a scar across the heart that inflicts hurt and pain, and I wince at every moment the wound opens wider and wider...

may God heal...

2010-11-30T07:07:00.001+08:00

it's not the end of the world..

you're stronger than that..

get up, and get a move on..

you're doing great jy

2010-10-31T08:09:00.002+08:00

one more month...

just one more month to finishing this 2 year stint of army life..

honestly, despite the many frustrating moments, anger, disappointment, stress and what not, the 2 years did leave some memories in my head..

of course i won't forget the friends i've made there, the times of fun that we had.. how we'll sit around to bitch about things in camp, sitting around our first heating stove and preparing late night maggi suppers.. in the end these people are the ones who made ns not seem like the shit that it is in our lives..

yet obviously there are the people who live for the purpose of ruining your life, intentionally or otherwise.. no matter how much you just don't give a damn about them, they will always appear in your life to throw some shit in your face..

so, yes and no, ns was and was not in any single way fun.. but there are lessons learnt, and some lessons you really have to remember even way past this 2 years..

my only regret was not building a stronger relationship with those friends i hung around with during this ns cycle.. so at the end, i went in and spent 2 years of my life really wasted..

totally totally wasted//

2010-06-11T07:12:00.003+08:00

4 months. its been a long 4 months...

just came back from france and olomouc. well done ppl, well i guess since the congratulations have been given already there's not much point in saying more..

this few months of practise culminating in the trip actually taught me much.. it was different, nothing like graz, nothing like prague, nothing like anything that we've gone through before.. it was really different, not just with the ppl we sang with, not just the place, not the superficial things on the outside..

what was different was on the inside..

i think jason's note hit the right spot.. it didn't mattered whoever was singing beside each other, behind or in front.. friendship didn't matter on stage, at least for me.. the thing i felt the deepest was the fact that, everyone had worked hard to come this far, and share everything they had with one another on stage, the bonds, the love for each other, the love for the audience, most importantly the love for music. i think its a combination. you can never attribute success like this to a single factor, but we did it purely because we were able to come together and get everything down on the table.

it was really hard, it was tough, draining, everything was disastrous, everything went haywire. what could go wrong went wrong, and then some..

but it didn't matter again.. troubles are here to make us stronger, what can't kill us only makes us stronger. obstacles are here to be overcomed. we held together, heads together, arm in arm, and walked through the battlefield. it didn't matter what the outcome was, with every firm step that we take we seal each moment into our lives, and crush every obstacle in our way. it's this togetherness that paved the way forward, and gave everyone single-mindedness to get into the fight together, regardless of difference or motivation..

that is why it is different..

i've never rated two trips in the same way before.. each and every was different from others, i never believed nothing could be learnt from any of them..

it was not easy. not like others were easier, but we were more confident in other competitions. we walked in blind this time. blinded by ambitions, fogged by uncertatinties, halted by hesitations. it wasn't easy to move, the chains of the army broke one by one, each and everytime we took a blow. we were greatly weakened. but we never stopped, yet we never gave up, not on ourselves, not on our fellow comrades, not on miss lim. the weakest of man can still have the strongest of heart, and it is this heart that bore the strength that we all need. not by our own strength, but by the strength of everyone else. the chain is only as strong as its weakest link, and we manage to hold the chain firmly all the way till the end..

that is why it is different..

this may be my last, i don't know what holds for me in the future with regards to choir or even alumni. i leave all my fate to God.

but what an amazing last run it has been..

2010-02-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

march 2010

soon, soon, just hold a little longer!!

2010-02-11T21:49:00.002+08:00

man its been so long since i've last blogged... close to a year... i bet noone's gonna read this anyway...

so to sum up the past year, it's been quite a fun ride i guess?? quite alot of stuff happening around, like new camp, new faces, new leaders, new bunkmates, new friends... basically new everything....

and my journey in new camp been's bittersweet in some sense?? to say it's been absolutely fun is an overstatement, and to say that i've been having no fun is quite undermining the fact that i've got good companions... well so-so's the best answer i can give tho.. half the year chiongsua-ing, half just doing random work cos of my injury...

and of course there's my operation just a few weeks ago.. not gonna say much about it.. its an operation, wat do you expect?

and ermm.. basically spending the last few weeks rotting at home, playing, reading, watching tv, physio... i really dunno how to spend time at home better... there seems to be a lack of things i can think of doing....

and yep there's choir pracs... really hope i can go for france and olomouc.. depends mostly of my leave application (which i have no idea whether its been approved or not, noone told or informed me of any progress as of yet... just keeping my fingers crossed)

chinese new year.. hmmm... 3 more days? yea, nothing much to expect... not visiting as many relatives as before... so not gonna be very re4nao4 or anything like that... just the usual people coming to the house for reunion dinner, then heading to their hosue to sit around....

oh and yea, finally bought a ps3 in this year... slim... not that its any big news or anything... and got verryyyy little games cos of the fact that ps3 games cos hell lot.....

hmmm... really not left with much to say.... i think im just writing this to waste time while waiting for my music to end.. not much motivation to write anything in detail...

and if its of any interest im listening to wondergirls, alot, nowadays :)

2009-03-18T13:15:00.002+08:00

i am now posting from the lep room in school with yee ching and elizabeth studying around hohoho!!

(Hi people.... yee ching here, HOW ARE YOU hohoho)

random...zzzz.. and apparently the juniors like them are so ill-disciplined haha, cannot even sit down for one second to study ah!!

anyway its finally end of bmt!! which ended like one week ago -.- pop was like the best parade i've ever had, not because it was good, but cos it signified the end of the hellish bmt phase!!! but oh wells, now i'm just waiting to get my posting by friday to see where i'm headed... hopefully its not some super xiong unit that i'll die in heh..

and saturday is some gala dinner thingy, which the j3s are coming back to perform along with the choir.. hoho finally like super long haven't sung with the choir already.. think i totally forgot how to sing also, so lousy now heh...

and tho i've wasted like 3 months of my time in bmt, i think at some point during these 13 weeks i really quite enjoyed myself in tekong as well.. not cos i like it there, but cos of a super fun platoon... and really good commanders.. and to think i had bad thoughts about ns, its actually not that bad hhooohoho... ah but now that the main part of hell is over we'll see how things turn out for the next one and a half years hehheheheheh...

2008-12-07T10:10:00.002+08:00

this week has been super eventful, and super fun heh.

sunday went out with my mum to buy jacket for prom.. din actually want to spend money for prom, but oh well, since i din have a jacket my mum decided to just buy one for me.. then went to buy some ns stuff for enlistment -.- went jean's place for choir gathering with the batch and seniors, spent the night talking about random stuff and playing guitar sing songs eat food, had quite abit of laugh and fun.

monday and tuesday were just dominated by acapella practises. went thru our story and started learning superman thru nwc.. it was crazy, cos we only had 5 days left till prom to at least practise well for both songs.. we just tried our best to learn the songs and did a little combine..

wednesday had jap buffet for lunch with some choir juniors! with yingting gloria elizabethphua david and bob.. and turned out i was the only senior there, which felt quite weird. but oh wells, since the rest had stuff on like caroling prac and other stuff, and yingting gloria was like trying to convince me to go.. but we had so much fun eating all the stuff (which i shldn't be doing since im enlisting soon) then they had some woosh thing for me, like an enlistment farewell thingy heh. thanks you all :) then rushed back to school for acapella prac again. thankfully kunwon was there to help us out and listen to us.. went to town after prac to get my classical guitar to sell to xianyou, then met up with him to join the 852 ppl at harbourfront to have dinner and celebrate yichan's birthday.. stayed around singing songs at night before going back home...

thursday was free day.. went for cg at yuhui's house and the rest of the day was just slacking away...

friday, PROM!! went dijie's house in the morning to supposedly practise for acapella, but in the end we played wii while waiting for jason to come.. played somemore before we seriously practised and tried to get our songs together..went for lunch at a nearby coffeeshop, then in the afternoon went to a hair salon that shaun recommended.. actually din want to do anything one, since i got no money.. then the guys tried to convince to at least style my hair for $8, and so reluctantly i did, but guy said my hair was too thick, so he recommended to cut my hair thinner for another $7.. in the end the aca guys helped me pay abit for my hair, and it turned out GREAT!! like first time in 18 years, or at least since i had hair that i've ever had my hair styled so nicely!! too bad i cant really keep that hair since im gonna have it shaved in a week, but oh well, once in a lifetime is not that bad :) prom was quite fun, spent alot of time taking pictures with choir ppl and cg and classmates and just chatting away.. the food was ok i guess, but the emcee was IMBA!! he's super funny! acapella was the finale item (no idea why) but everyone was busy taking pictures that only the choir came to the front to support and listen.. we din really do superbly well, but ok ba, since noone's listening anyway.. alot of random things happened around, so was quite chaotic.. went back to dijie's house and spent the night at his home, thank God for him:)

went back home yesterday for awhile, then went to service.. then went down to island resort for ivan's birthday party.. spent a LONG time waiting for the stupid bus to come to the interchange at bedok, and i had totally no idea where to drop off, so i just randomly took my chances and thank God i alighted at just nice the rite stop, ate alot and caught up with old friends whom i've not met for like 2 years already.. spent the night talking random stuff and watching movie heh.. went home with some guys and had further rubbish talk and jokes on the bus..

now going over to ben tay's house to play mahjong with old frens!! woohoo!!! oh and pictures are uploaded http://picasaweb.google.com/tommihuang heehee

2008-11-21T21:22:00.002+08:00

HOORAY!!! i finally got my own guitar! totally loved it when i saw it at the shop.. but was contemplating on whether to get that or another one that's cheaper.. but its really good, and it sounds good (and look good)!! $300, which i think was not too bad.. altho that's like $100 over my budget, i dun really care! its my christmas present, i deserve to splurge abit more :)

and thanks to cherie, dijie xianzhe and xuan wei who followed me all the way to parklane after choir and spent like over 30plus minutes looking around at random guitars while i was trying the guitars.. and especially to dijie for helping me choose as well! yay thanks so much to all of you guys :)

2008-11-10T21:37:00.002+08:00

i haven't posted for quite long, so it feels quite strange to be posting here again..
not to mention i should be studying and prepping myself up for chem and econs tml rather than being online.. but i guess i just write something before i go for an early night..

A levels has been.. hell of a ride.. i guess? half of me is filled with satisfaction about my performance for my papers.. i guess i may not have done THE best, but i've managed to complete all (if not just one, physics paper 2 -.-) of my papers within the time, which i've not done before in any of my exams this year.. and im quite relieved that my exam anxiety that i feel in my previous exams are sort of not really there this time, and i can really concentrate better.. thank God for that then, so i guess im pretty much feeling ok about this few weeks..

yet the other half of me blames myself for not being sharp-eyed enough to catch my own careless mistakes.. it may be like 5 or 6 marks worth of careless mistakes, plus a few more that i may lose in my attempt to answer qn which i have no idea how to... but 10 marks in a paper that's worth 60 or 80 marks.. that's actually quite a lot.. and when i keep thinking about it, i keep getting the sense that its dejavu all over, like prelims... and it worries me.. cos i really dun want to disappoint.. not myself, not my parents, not my teachers.. admittedly, the screwup in prelims was all my fault.. but i went into a levels since day one telling myself i must not come out at the end feeling regretful about the things i've done wrong, or the mistakes i've made.. and apparently i doubt its gonna turn out well for me.. i dunno, maybe i just think too much, maybe my papers will not turn out to be bad, maybe i'll get good grades that im satisfied with.. but that's all "maybe", so wat then is the "confirmed" outcome? the prelims results ordeal is a bad blow to me already.. if a levels is gonna do the same in march next year, i dunno wat im gonna do to myself...

that said, 2 more days.. just 2 more days.. hang in there..

2008-10-27T21:32:00.002+08:00

yes! fixed the guitar... hopefully it doesn't gg in the future.. the pack of strings cost 7 dollars!!! and now my heart races everytime i try to tune it, and everytime i hear a creaking sound from the guitar my heart will just skip a beat... that's very costly to maintain the guitar...

but oh well.. since its not mine, i shld do my best to keep it in good condition..

working on gp sucks... i hate a levels (like who doesn't)... i just cant wait for it to be over quick!!!

but when a's are over, that means i have less than a month to ns.. hmmmmm...

2008-10-26T00:05:00.002+08:00

i have no other way of putting it.. i just gg-ed my guitar (not actually mine, borrowed from senior, so that's even more gg)

i broke 2 strings while trying to retune them back, and i think i filed the saddle too much, cos the low e string keeps buzzing... i just hope its cos of the 2 missing strings... and that once i put them back everything will be alrite.. again?? but that's only after a's can i really spend time trying to fix these things... so that means no more guitar to play.. and im not even really sure i can fix them properly... just wanna get them done quick!!

and i want a's to be over quick!!!

2008-10-25T11:53:00.001+08:00

and soo.. im enlisting on 12 december.. 1212.. nice number, i should go buy 4D.. -.-

damn sian, that means i can't go caroling.. and i have less than a month to party after my a levels.. and means im gonna miss out on a lot of fun with the choir ppl...

crap...

2008-10-20T13:06:00.002+08:00

i dunno why, but im totally falling in love with Giorni Dispari by Ludovico Einaudi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qICoHUxE1bU
been listening to it over and over for quite a number of times, and each time i listen it just draws me into the music..

wanted to go physics paper review today.. and when i just changed into my uniform, the skies opened and the rain POURED down... i had to run around the house taking in the clothes, closing and locking all the windows before my house floods.. and even tho i never stepped out of the house, my uniform was already almost drenched.... in the end stuck at home, doing gp...

oh, went out to study yesterday with xianyou, hewlett and andris.. at first went esplanade library with xianyou.. but there was no place to sit, so we went to rooftop to lag while waiting for hewlett.. and xianyou just indulged in emo songs.. in the end we decided to go suntec city starbucks to mug when hewlett arrived.. we spent like 3 or 4+ plus hours in starbucks mugging, or at least they were.. i spent 3 or 4+ hours doing my gp compre and essay, which neither of them did i complete there.... packed up at about 630, then walked around suntec with hewlett to look at phones... then both of us walked over to funan to look somemore.. actually wanted to eat dinner, but it was too expensive!!! like i cant find anything cheaper than 4 dollars! but hey we were in town, so cant blame them.. in the end i pang seh-ed hewlett to go back bishan to buy dinner back home to eat heh.. spent like the night trying to do more gp, but ended up looking at more phones on the net... super unproductive haha! and i cant believe like its not very long away from a levels, yet im taking it so easy?? its just plain horrible.....

2008-10-16T20:56:00.002+08:00

RARRRR
i want a sony ericsson p1 or w960...
i dun care i dun care!!!!
the only thing that's stopping me now is cos of a levels, and that singtel DOESN"T SELL THEM ANYMORE COS THEY'RE OUT OF STOCK...
which means i have to travel to amk hello shop to try..
which means i have to convince my mum to travel to amk hub to buy me one
plus we have to do so quick before stocks run out there as well

which all means its mission impossible!!!!

watched mission impossible 3 today, so i really do believe my wish may come true...

2008-10-07T19:26:00.002+08:00

had a.. not that very eventful day today?? i dunno, not really in the mood to think anyway...

well ok, at least i sort of sabo-ed xianyou into being embarassed during physics revision lesson (which i have no idea why he would be there anyway??) by replying to his stupid sms-es and being caught by the teacher for qutie some time :) and chem was, err im not sure, kinda just like the usual revision lecture kinda stuff...

then went to celebrate cherie's birthday.. well not really a celebration, sang birthday song and let her cut cake before she had to rush off for consult.. then the aca guys went to an empty classroom to practise stand by me, supposedly for auditions to perform at prom.. haha kinda rusty already, since we haven't really sang together for like a damn long time, hopefully it will turn out quite well tml :) after auditions then lag around in the classroom with some choir ppl, waited for cherie to end consult, then went to eat lunch together.. came back to school to crash choir practise for awhile with the choir ppl, had a bit of chat with miss lim, then left in the middle... so that was just about wat happened in school?? nothing much..

came home, and finally decided to tell my mum about my results, specifically my horrendous gp grade.. kinda expected her reaction: disappointed, naggy, sort of angry blah blah.. wasn't really thrilled at all... but she din really whack or threw a load of thrashings at me thankfully.. but it still felt bad.. i dunno, im quite sadded now.. like why of all my subjects, gp has to be one she focuses on most, and gp has to be the one which i totally flunked like crap.. and i cant help but keep thinking wat a failure i am, can't even work hard enough to get a decent grade (even tho i really tried) but gp's really something i can't do for nuts.. i just dun have interest nor passion for it, and i keep trying but i keep failing, its just super crappy for me...

and i just can't tell you how much i really hate gp and how much i really dun want to do gp anymore.

2008-10-05T16:47:00.002+08:00

its been horribly borrinnnggggggg..... its feel like im just wasting my time away lagging around watching top gear all day long...

finished maths revision lecture and chem as well.. only to find out that the chem qn that i did was for the revision lect on thursday, and they only just posted the rev qn for tuesday's lect... -.- oh man so suay.. now have to go do another set of chem qn..... and gp for consult and lecture also...

went out to paradiz in the afternoon to repair guitar.. went to second hand handphone shop first to sell my spoilt sony ericsson.. sad man, can't bear to part with my dear phone :( sold it for 30 bucks, which is crappy little >< should have sold it the last time when he quoted 50 for me...

then travelled all the way to paradiz to some musical instrument shop, left my friend's guitar there to be repaired during the week ($75!!! oh my, damn ex ><) then was thinking thru about how to save as much money as possible to repay ALL THE HUGE DEBTS i owe to so many ppl... sian, inflation sucks!!

i really got to get back to work... less than a month left... haizz.

2008-09-28T21:10:00.000+08:00

felipe massa, HAHAHA!!!!

i love ferrari for their technical screwup :)

gogo hamilton!

2008-09-24T16:56:00.003+08:00

wat to say??
im supersupersupersupersuuuuuuuperrrrrperperperperpepreprperpeprepepreprpeperperpeperperperpeprperperpeprer
disappointed at the results i've gotten back...

and pls dun say i did well enough for prelims standard, or at the end i'll get my A for a levels (not that i dun want to :p ), thank you all for your comfort and concern, and i do appreciate that..

but that's not an excuse, in the end i do know myself that i did damn dig-dastardly badly... not up to my usual standard, and really screwed up my papers..

i shld just kill myself..

2008-09-21T13:55:00.001+08:00

HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOTHOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOTHOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOTHOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOTHOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOTHOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOTHOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOTHOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOTHOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT

that's only wat i have to say about today... maybe tonight will be better

2008-09-18T00:11:00.002+08:00

finally... PRELIMS ENDED!!!! thank God i cant stand anymore of this any longer... i will DIEE if this doesn't end by now....

at least physics mcq was ok.. abit of careless and stupid mistakes again here and there... but overall, think is one of the better physics paper 1 i've done so far.. shan't be too confident, but at least its WAYYY better than chem paper 2 -.-

went out with adriel, jack and gang to plaza sing after physics to hang around... had an extremely full lunch at carl's junior... went to watch Babylon AD after that.. it was plain not worth it-.- the storyline is messed up, the characters were unbelievably unimaginable, and the movie just left all of us stupefied and unclear of wat just went on... not a good effort at all....

oh before movie, we went to build a bear for donald kng (his birthday) !!! dear daddy donald now has a son-daughter (??) bear to call his special one!!! called donaldo the kng !!! ahha the whole time spent in build a bear factory was super hilarious!! we were like looking around for a suitable bear for donald, when the assistant came to ask us if we had any preference for bears, we were like spamming nonsense around looking for a feminine bear for him... then we were playing around with the sound input for the bears thingy, and the heartbeat... got a fluffy bear, stuffed it with cotton..

and just before sewing the bear up when donald had to put the bear's heart into it, that was super funniest event!!! the assistant asked donald to choose a heart for the bear, but in the end we decided his gay partner (adriel) shld do the honours and choose a heart haha.. then donald was asked funny qn like "would you love this bear??" "do you want your heart to be with the bear's heart?" and he was made to rub the heart against his heart, and between his palms and kiss it before putting inside the bear!! the rest of us were laughing away like mad ppl cos donald looked super hilarious!! (not that the loving bear or heart thingy is a bad or stupid thing.. i personally feel that if the bear is a truly special gift for someone then those acts would definitely be worth doing, and overdoing for the sake of it, it is afterall a great idea and service from the store... but the fact that donald is the one doing it with his funny actions makes it amazingly crazy and funny!) after sewing the bear up, donald then had to give his bear a blowdry and scrubbing with a brush, which was another crazy laughter inducing section! and we all helped to give his bear a birth certificate for "donaldo the kng"! the entire bear making process for donald was just super crazy and funny!!

after movie adriel zhiyong jacob jack and i went to play pool.. and we changed out of our uniform and just wore our jackets with nothing underneath! haha so imba, played for a couple of hours before they left, then i went over to yuhui's house to join the cg for bbq.. sang songs, played cards, make stupid jokes, had alot of laughter and just enjoyed myself tonight there... then went up to her house to clean up the dishes, and experiment with chocolate :P made some hot chocolate milk, which was not bad, considering its our first time ?? haha..

end of prelims could never been made better! how i wish everyday was end of prelims, then we can just go out everyday to just lag around and enjoy life as it is!

2008-09-16T23:34:00.002+08:00

im listening to "another one bites the dust" by queen....

and while listening to the song, im thinking about chem paper 2...
think i swallowed the whole chunk of chem dust with my crazy screwed up paper 2... (half the paper of blanks and mistakes)

this prelims really sucked.. like totally...

i just threw away wat little chances of A for chem from paper 1 and 3 with my horrendous performance.. things just cant get worse huh...

im really super emo over chem... i really have no mood for anything else.. my blood boils and my brain's gonna explode...

2008-09-15T21:54:00.002+08:00

im starting to get more and more disappointed with myself.. i really cant stand the way that i cant even get easy things done right...

maths today, other than AP/GP, everything was manageable.. pure maths is.. no comments, it has its difficulty and easiness.. worse is statistics... 60% statistics in the paper is just give away!!! and i lost marks just because my stupid eye and slow brain cant register wat the stupid qn was asking, and in the end used wrong methods... yea i guess losing 7 to 10 marks in this careless fashion is unavoidable.. but NO its not unavoidable (considering i had quite a bit of time to read and re-read the qn over and over again) its plain stupidity on my part, cos rite after the paper ended did i realise wat had gone wrong...

and not just maths, alot of my other subjects had lost marks cos of plain stupid careless mistakes which i should not have made... im seriously disappointed at my performance, tho i know most of the time i let my nervousness get the better of me, its really not an excuse cos its been something i've been trying to fight ever since cat high, and time and again i fail to get better at every single exam...

i seriously doubt i could get good results... at least 3 As for my sciences? that's like a seemingly hard goal to reach after the sucky papers i've been through... and even if i do get my As, its not wat i believe i could have gotten... this prelims is just a really bad time for me...

2008-09-12T22:55:00.005+08:00

today's physics was... not so good?? i hate de broglie wavelength.. ( esp the stupid qn that came out, wat kind of qn was that!!! totally never see before dammit!! and the balloon crap urgh!!)

and i GG-fied myself even further while the paper was being collected.. i was feeling bored ( like duh, after such a stupid screwed paper i just wanted to get out and leave te paper for good) and i started messing around with my GC.. was randomly pressing keys and doing all sorts of stuf
then reset my GC over and over again...

suddenly i dunno why, i just pressed the row of keys 0258 and ON, suddenly the gc asked me if i wanted to reset... so i thought i pressed the 28 ON keys to reset function, then i just went on ahead to press reset.. all of a sudden, the "MEMORY CLEARED" message came onto my screen (not shocking actually) but the damn stupid thing was the "FOR SINGAPORE" message DID NOT COME UP!!!! OHMYGGFIEDWATTHECRAPIDIDTOMYGC!!!!! check my apps, and ALL MY APPS ARE GONE!!! LIKE WAT THE!!! and my maths paper 2 is on monday... RARRRRRR PLS DO THIS TO MEEEE!!!! SLAP MYSELF LAR!...

thank God calean was willing to lend me her gc with the apps inside... oh man need to re-install my apps before a levels ><

ahh yess. went to eat lunch with xianzhe xianyou (xianzheyou.. -.-"" ) then saw dr ang coming into the canteen, and she asked us how was physics..haha so we complained to her and just emo-ed.... and when we queued up for our food, dr ang came back to us and GAVE EACH OF US A BOTTLE OF MILK to cheer us up.. and we're like super stunned and super thankful!!! she's the best!!! that milk was super encouraging, THANK YOU DR ANG!!!

and cg until very late.. haha dragging all the way after games talking about physics and logic and whatever-not.. xiaoyang is super knowledgable and well read haha..very intelligent guy lar.. then started QT after like one hour of crapping :p and ended cg like 8 plus, then headed over to HC international school to talk to this australian guy, fomr Hope Brisbane.. had a super long but interesting chat about alot of stuff.. now super tired after the super long day spent in school heh...

2008-09-11T14:54:00.002+08:00

i lost close to 20 marks each for maths P1, chem P3, physics P3... and many more i predict will be lost in the coming papers, thanks to the onslaught of tonnes of careless mistakes and not reading the questions properly...

so most probably can't get what i aimed to achieve.. i really wanted to do well like get all my As in my sciences to show my mum that i've really been working hard since coming back from graz.. its time to prove my parents wrong that they think i've constantly been slacking and doing useless random stuff like playing all day long...

but i guess i just wasted this chance away by screweing my papers up with stupid mistakes that i should never have made... am i sad? a little.. more like disappointed and angry at myself for screwing up...

the higher you aim, the harder you'll fall.. i bet i just fell and broke the damn floor...

2008-09-06T01:17:00.001+08:00

msn is becoming really cranky and irritating!!!
like all my msg cant deliver to any fren im talking to, in every convo!!!
i have to retype alot of my msgs like 2-3 times before it wun get cut off
siannn, its quite irritating actually
REPAIR YOURSELF MSN!!!

2008-09-02T02:16:00.002+08:00

im seriously starting to get irritated by internet explorer for its frequent (and definitely unwelcomed) hanging in the middle of doing my stuff, which means having to bring up task manager, close IE (which takes an astonishing long time for i-dunno-wat reasons), reopeing another IE window, reloading the page, and then redoing wat i had done (yes, had done, IE HANGED JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO CLICK THE ENTRY BUTTON)

firefox, you're my new best friend when it comes to surfing the web (altho it takes wayy too long for the firefox window to open, but who cares)

2008-08-25T22:26:00.002+08:00

was reading thru my 2 years of blog posts, and i must really say:
how this 2 years has really changed me and the things around me..

prelims tml, at least only gp this week.. haha i've been super unproductive ever since start of study break, go school with guitar, then play lots of emo songs and sing with xian you.. im actually quite envious of the tenors, damn they have good voices ><

im starting to fall in love with chinese love songs, like "forever love" or "ni bu zai".. they're very expressive and touching, and playing guitar and singing at the same time really gets the mood going, in me at least..

that said, JASON MRAZ IS IMBA!!! oh my learnt a lot of songs, like butterfly, shy that way, wordplay, and they're all superb!! i think jason mraz is really seriously super talented with his guitar, and his singing is superb!!! very nice :D:D

went dinner and late night chatting with xianyou and dijie at j8 last saturday night.. haha talked alot of things, like our feelings, and emo stuff, and really got personal with each other.. i think they're really great friends to hang around, cos we really understand wat each other is going thru, and we're not afraid of sharing our feelings with each other and supporting each other throughout.. haha you guys are the best man :)

and i receive lots of random msg from xianzhe!!! haha, 4 years in cat high, din know you got that in you man :P suddenly so imba ah!!

i shall not be distracted anymore!!!!
now back to studying for prelims, and ultimately A levels!!!!

Psalm 23:4 "even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff, they will comfort me"
a powerful verse i think, my friend reminded me of its significance today while i was studying in school.. i shall carry on this spirit and continue to walk this journey with strength!! Amen.

2008-08-05T06:06:00.004+08:00

you already have your own laptop, so stop hogging the family comp on the pretext you're preventing me from playing at night! dun think you've already graduated and you think you're the most responsible one to be controlling my comp usage... becos the fact is you AREN'T.

all you do is use the comp to watch your stupid ghost whisperers or dramas, when i lie down on the couch waiting for my turn to use the comp just to check smb, and even after asking you politely you just totally dao me. super irritating ><

seriously, just get off the comp, you're not the king, i'm not obliged to let you watch your dramas even when im doing a project on my comp, that's just plain ignorance on your part! one of these days i'll just burn all your videos onto dvd so that you'll have no excuse of hagging the comp when i need it...

worse still i'll just delete all your videos..

dear God, im feeling the stress over prelims now, pls help! and esp with all these things happening around im gonna bao soon, pls take them away from my life!!! :(

2008-07-05T21:45:00.001+08:00

"L.O.V.E."
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore

Can love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart but please don't break it
Love was made for me and you

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore

Can love is all that I can give to you
Love, love, love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart but please don't break it
'Cause love was made for me and you
I said love was made for me and you
You know that love was made for me and you

2008-06-30T19:53:00.003+08:00

random, but oh well since noone reads my blog i just blog for the sake of doing it.....

how can a evo X be slower than an impreza wrx sti??? i dun get it??? is it even technically possible for the impreza to outrun the evo on the track??

that said i dun really care.. evo x is still the better CAR ( at least in my mind its a car, not some ugly abomination) and most importantly to LOOK AT.. its way cooler than anything out there, other than previous generations of evo which were not that bad.

nissan gtr. oh my that is simply an engineering masterpiece.. and it looks as good as it can get. simply stunning. i think japan makes the best cars out there, nissan gtr, evo, honda nsxr, it couldn't get any better than them ppl.. really why bother with buying supercars that cost a bomb and is simply undrivable ( i talk of porshe and ferrari) if cars look as good as the japanese ones and drives superbly well, i dun see its point..

i really should study now......

IE IE IE IE

2008-06-21T23:44:00.003+08:00

i hate it when my internet explorer hangs 3 times within 5 minutes when im just scrolling down a single webpage.... irritating.......

2008-02-03T19:23:00.000+08:00

i dunno why but i've been feeling very tired and stressed out for quite some time over the last week..

i guess i must have been pretty stressed out by h3.. tho maths is something that i kinda enjoy, (and something i hope i can continue having passion in), having extra lectures and tutorials on h3 is really taking its toll on me.. plus having lectures late in the afternoon doesn't really help me to concentrate much... the extra commitment is taking my time away trying to understand wat's going on and trying to squeeze in that little bit more formulas into my brain... and i feel bad for sleeping in lectures, (and even tutorials!!!) when i clearly did not put in enough effort to get my work done... now i find myself begging for time to move on slowly so i can actually accomplish much MORE things in my freaking messed up life...

and frankly, my h2 work is as messed up.. i think i've got my whole last year's work to catch up on, that's how much i've deproved in the 2 months holidays... and blocks are coming up in just a couple of weeks more, oh man i dread the work!!

and i still want to go for choir olympics.. blocks is my one and only chance for me to prove to my mum that im capable of handling all the work... i can't screw this up.. which means i have to repeat wat i did for promos... WAT THE!!!

ok no, i can't carry on letting my emotions and feelings get the better of me.. maybe i've emo-ed long enough and its time to stop... afterall i already promised sam and jon to do so...

maybe i shld learn to seek happiness in everything.. i've got good friends... :)
oh, choir orientation was fun :) pictures up on hewlett's blog!

2008-01-05T20:32:00.000+08:00

i have a new big screen monitor for my comp!!! YAY!!!! which means ----->

my bro has a newer, big, brighter and zai-er screen monitor for his comp, so now i can play games on his comp on a bigger, brighter and zai-er screen!!! double YAY!!!

BUT !!

i shldn't be playing games cos of A levels... awwwww damn.....

2007-12-01T08:22:00.000+08:00

its been a rather tiring day i guess.. haha so much fun and laughter..

choir "pt" in the morning, haha most choir ppl were there to run, while i just sat down at a bench to look thru my maths hmwk since i cant really run too much with my foot rotting away.. oh man i haven't really touched it at all, got so much work during dec! after they came back, went to netball court to play captain's ball, which was so much fun! my rotting foot hurt a little after that, but i guess for that little bit of pain to enjoy the game its pretty worth it. broke my right slippers during the game cos of a little accident, haha then no more shoes to wear around! in the end some good idea from juniors to staple the part of my slippers where it had torn off back. haha became pretty uncomfortable with the feeling of staple bullets under my right foot..

then went over to curry wok for brunch, the ppl at my table were totally crazy, all the stupid joke cracking and laughing, haha so fun lar!! choir after that was ok, haha but choir has always been "ok" to me, so i guess it was quite fun and good ba. haha im starting to love bubuy bulan! :)

then went over to dhoby ghaut with seokh and shaun to meet up with other church frens, then went over to parkway parade.. slacked around in mac's for awhile. haha the choir ppl in church just went out with scores and start singing away in some "ulu" corner near mac's, oh my was quite screwedup, but still it was damn fun! haha.

im so glad that i went for the prayer meet last night. i guess its really helped me sort out so much stuff and really set out my priorities for God. it kinda helped to set my sights more on God, and grew my hunger for Him. prayer meet was quite refreshing and rejuvenating, and the atmosphere was really great!

after prayer meet was a mad "amazing race" rush back home.. haha cos it ended quite late, and i had no idea how to go home from there. in the end chiong everywhere, then went back home damn late.....

oh man such a long post, haha but so many things happened all in one day.. niicee heh :)

2007-11-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

i have re-fallen in love with The Corrs!! oh man i've not listened to them for like quite a long time, at least a couple of years already, yet listening to their songs again bring back fond memories of past.
i dunno why, but lately im enjoying a lot of pretty dated songs. new songs seem to be less appealing than oldies i guess.

Top Gear is my current fav pasttime show. i think im addicted to some of the jokes and hilarious comments made on the show. and at least it helps to let time pass quickly.

my left foot is not really doing any better. now the skin's split even more, and the flesh look really kinda disgusting. just a bit of stinging, not really pain, guess im quite used to it.

now i shall "shop" around for watever xmas present i'll buy for myself...

2007-11-20T06:14:00.000+08:00

i was supposed to post quite a while ago, better late than never...
besides most of my posts are still full of rubbish anyway...

its been a pretty boring holiday, other than choir practises and workshops, the past 2 weeks have just been a bore playing games all day long ...

i was having a chat with a few friends outside when it dawned on me how much they've really changed my life. i guess its not just them but many of the people i've met throughout 17 years of my life. its touching when you have friends that really back you up in your most difficult times. and i enjoy the few but really inspiring chats that i've had with these friends. being able to closely interact with them really builds up our friendship and lets me depend on them.

i guess its not just fun and games, but spending quality time with people that are important in my life that's wat really make a true friendship. the feeling is just.. different.. i dunno how to put it.. i rather spend time sitting down and really talking to someone then just play play around, tho im not much of a speaker and i cant really hold a conversation... but that's not the point..

that said, the ppl i met in choir are really awesome. i think rioHC plays a really important part in my life, and i've found most joy spending time with great friends in choir like jason, xz, dj, hewlett and whoever whoever.. i guess its just how we've always hung out, in or out of school.. even back in cat high i've found friends whom i can really turn to, with whom we've gone through years of hardship and joy. its this kind of quality friendship that marks the special moments in my life.

not much to say from me, but taking time to appreciate the last 17 years of friendship really does matters i feel...

2007-08-26T12:24:00.000+08:00

i missed maths lecture on maclaurin's, and im starting to regret cos i DUN UNDERSTAND ANYTHING.....

promos are coming, must start chionging... :(

2007-08-13T07:58:00.000+08:00

since im at home so early in the morning without anything to do, oh wells, might as well blog about some stuff...

if you're thinking why i ponned school to blog at home, im just waiting for 8.30am to come by quick so i can call my doctor to fix an appointment. which brings me to my condition which is really frustrating and nonsensical.

just a week ago, my left ear was blocked so badly i almost couldn't hear through my left ear cos everything was badly muffled. now my left ear's healed, but guess wat, im now running a fever and my RIGHT ear's blocked now.. oh my the pain in my ear and head is unbearable\! this is like a torture after my previous torture just ended....

i'll rather go deaf than to suffer with one blocked ear after another with so much pain. ok just joking, i rather not suffer from anything...

kinda sad case for me. now im stuck at home, and that means i'll have to finish up my WR throughout the day and study for econs as well.

oh wells, i must pray hard that my right ear gets better!!

2007-08-05T19:37:00.000+08:00

2 months of non-blogging days. now it feels weird to type in my blog again...

i can't believe my luck!! bad luck.. bad bad luck i've got ....
and for the fourth day, my left ear is still blocked, and it seems quite serious cos everything i hear from my left ear is really muffled.. and it hasn't even improved much from thursday when i found out i got this blocked ear thingy.. the ringing sound is so damn distracting, and the feeling in my left ear is very very weird, like as if there's nothing there at at all..

hopefully im gonna heal well quick.. mum doesn't even let me go see the doctor for another appointment.. say wat should let me rest and recuperate if possible... i've already been resting and recuperating for the last 4 days, and nothings happening!!! oh mannn...

nevertheless, i'll continue praying that a miracle happens, cos its starting to get unbearable....

2007-06-25T19:40:00.000+08:00

A promising young sportsman, who worked so hard to achieve his goal..
rest in peace, Thaddeus, we'll miss you.

2007-05-13T07:18:00.000+08:00

"We should not shed tears. That is a surrender of the body to the heart. It is only proof that we are beings that do not know what to do with our hearts"

2007-05-06T14:34:00.000+08:00

2 more days to syf, intense man..
jiayou everyone, we've worked hard all this time for this, and we've not come so far just to back down.. let's all make this the greatest 15 min of our lives on stage..
because we can, and we will get that GWH.

2007-04-22T17:05:00.000+08:00

just a little over 2 more weeks.. syf.
can we do it? i believe we can..
now is the time to fight on and demand more from ourselves, the will to dominate.

2007-04-20T20:28:00.000+08:00

i've held on, but it burns so much..
now i've let go, to free myself from this burden..

i'm feeling rather bored these few days, nothing exciting has happened, in fact nothing has even happened...

watever, im just gonna sleep my way through this weekend......

2007-04-17T21:51:00.000+08:00

cat high ebchoir: gold with honours!! allrittteeeee, niiccceeee...

2007-04-16T20:44:00.000+08:00

illness has finally caught me... and it doesn't feel nice at all..
woke up with a very bad headache and badly blocked nose, so decided to go see doctor and get day off.. feeling ultra bad and weak, stayed in bed until 9 then went down to the clinic, found out got quite long queue, so left my name and went back home to wait until 10+ before going to the doctor again.. got my medication then went back home to rest for the rest of the day..

now trying to pia finish my hmwk, tho it seems unbearably difficult.. the medication makes me so drowsy that i can't concentrate on my work properly..

cat high choir syf tml, haizz wanted to go watch their syf, but can't pon school.. maybe i'll just go down for the release of results after school, tho it'll be pretty pointless.. in any case, jiayou choir juniors, get that gold with honours and make the school and yourselves proud of your achievements.

2007-04-09T22:03:00.000+08:00

and so as it is just like the previous years, my birthday had just come and gone yet again..
just as after every other event, life still goes on for me.. never expect something out of nothing..

but still, thanks so much for the frens around me who made this day so special for me.

2007-04-08T21:29:00.000+08:00

maybe that moment will be special as well..
so special, may it last a lifetime..
for eternity.

2007-04-03T19:54:00.000+08:00

nice one, cat high CO gold with honours, not bad not bad, a long awaited years of effort which turned out to be truly damn well..

that's a nice start for the secondary school's syf, and for cat high anyway.. but it'll be nicer when all the other performing arts did their best and every other aesthetics cca get their gold with honours, that'll be the ultimate best for cat high, not baadddd....

cat high choir jia you, the time's for you all to shine, and dun let go not even till the very last moment, cos the seniors are all damn sure you all can make it!! good luck guys..

2007-04-01T21:38:00.000+08:00

gosh jc life is gettin tough, all the work piling up and the tests coming in, i've hardly done much revision so far, only tutorials and exercises...... time for a break, a much needed break for me......

anyway, saturday rocked quite a bit.. ok only at nite... morning went to bedok mrt to wait for some other choir ppl to meet up before heading off to vjc.. supposed to meet at 11.30, then i miscalculated my time and arrived at 10.45.. niccee man damnnn long wait.. reading today newspaper when lishan and seok hui suddenly came out of nowhere and screamed "hi" in my ears, ouch!... wait wait somemore then went to vj for choir workshop... quite ok at the beginning, but went on stage dunno why it just went wrong... maybe it was just anxiety or nervous, but watever it is it wasn't helping us at all...

after choir wanted to find some of my old choir mates back from cat high, but couldn't find, so nvm then headed down to plaza sing with xian you play arcade... then met up with the rest of the senior/junior 69 for jts, at fish and co. at glasshouse!! oh my rocks sia, the food was damn huge portion and damn good... shared the seafood platter for 2 with adriel and still couldn't finish, must struggle a bit... the drink was also ultra big, an damn nice.. aiya fish and co. is just that damn good lar, no doubt about it.. but the bill was also ultra 'wow', $800++ altogether, $100++ service charge.. wakao crazy sia...

today decided to be an ultra guai boy (i'm already guai, so can only be more guai-er) and did most of my work, chem, econs and pw.. anyway pw really sucked... i spent half the day lagging in front of the comp totally having no idea wat to do... its like so damn siann, then just picked up my pencil and randomly wrote some stuff down on the paper.. i bet when the deadline comes my draft will be so damn lousy my teacher confirm will scold then ask me redo.. 100% guarantee, lucky i wrote in pencil, easy to rub off and wun waste ink somemore...

seriously my life would be much easier if there wasn't pw :p.....
and no more scandals from me, trust me (i think) since i'm gonna become a more guai-er boy, i mean gentleman....

2007-03-19T21:39:00.000+08:00

less than 2 months to syf, now we're really feeling the heat..

there's no more time for slack already, its time to forge ahead and come out tops.. we shall strive for our best and never back down, we shall forget the past and look to a better future.. from now, a new and hopefully good start for our run..

its now or never..

2007-03-17T12:18:00.000+08:00

holidays are now coming to an end!! like wat the......

holidays never feel enough, with all the work and tests coming up and choir practises.. it would feel rather nice to actually have a day to sleep all day long, and to forget all about work and watever..

1/8 of the journey to 'A' levels have just passed in a blink of an eye, amidst the fun and laughter we all had.. now's the time to press on forward for studies and syf, no more slack anymore!.....

2007-03-12T10:16:00.000+08:00

holiday time! so relaxing and slack, for now, still got work to do...

my oh my, i've been spending so much money this few days.... but at least i guess its pretty much worth it alot... went for ntu's choir concert with a few frens, which i think was pretty nice, not bad not bad.. at least i enjoyed myself listening to them..

then went for huang cheng on sunday afternoon, the show was DAMN good, it was really funny yet the stories were really good and touching.. nice job..

and so i've enjoyed myself this weekend with so many nice performances.. now waiting to go to school in a few hours time, then do work also.. haizz and i've still got a book to read finish......

let's go play, for now..

2007-03-08T17:54:00.000+08:00

friends forever..
and ever.......

for those who could stay in hc, congratulations, and cherish this opportunity for its a chance which many others were not given..

for those whom unfortunately were kicked out, good luck to you all in your future endeavours, and dun fret over going into a totally new environment, for no matter where you go, your friends will always be behind your back, and life still goes on..

jiayou everyone

2007-03-06T20:09:00.000+08:00

to hell with this, my greatest fear had just come through, and i freakin hating everything about it..

life's so unfair isn't it... not too long ago i was over the moon about my results, and today the bomb had just dropped: im gettin freaking kicked out of hc to nj..

its so damn pissing off.. it totally spoiled my mood... although i've already prepared my appeal quite sometime back, i would never have expected such a thing to happen.. im so damn disappointed... now all i can do is to sit and think through wat i should do from now on...

and all this time an unknown stranger is pulling the strings and deciding my fate... all i can do is to have my fingers crossed and hope for the best, which chances are, i dunno......

2007-03-04T16:46:00.000+08:00

MAN UTD WON!! get it good chelsea, man utd's walking home with the trophy..

tho im not a really big fan of soccer, i must say this win came great.. who cares if it was just a last minute lucky goal, a goal's a goal, nothing's gonna change that.. and lie that, nothing's gonna change the fact man utd's gonna win..

monday off-day, one whole slack day, well not really since i've work to do.. in any case its a great break, and a long weekend.. i guess i'll just laze at home unless there's some good movie urging me to go watch.. movies anyone??

2007-02-27T19:49:00.000+08:00

dear whoever is gonna read this post:

as contrary to wat martin have told some of you, i am NOT leaving hwachong for any other jc.. i was just fooling around with him during econs lesson and he mistakenly took it for real and spread it around.. and apparently adriel have revealed wat he thought was the "truth" behind my "decision" to some people, though i'm not pretty much sure of wat he said, but in any case, DUN BELIEVE ADRIEL AT ALL.. his words are false because he does not understand my situation AT ALL...

tho i'll admit the thought of going to vj did cross my mind since it was the jc i've been aiming to go previously.. at no point at all did i ever hate anyone or everyone to influence my decision... it was purely my desire, and not that of anything that had to do with anyone else.. this is just a BIG misunderstanding that gone bad and wrong.. but in any case, im not gonna get pissed since this was also purely an accident on the part of the 2 guys..

2007-02-18T16:00:00.000+08:00

happy chinese new year to one and all :)

2007-02-13T22:42:00.000+08:00

GREAT NEWS!!!

if you thought that life sucks and feel like venting all your frustrations by punching the wall or shouting out loud, or perhaps you felt that you weren't needed in this world and could just die without anyone ever caring or bothering, so do i...

say it with me, we're pissed, we're all pissed..

let's face it, life's not fair, cos no matter how we look, life just really sucks, and there's nothing we can do about it..

this is depressing, but i dun really care much.. im already pretty much pissed off, it wouldn't hurt to get pissed even more...

***** if dao-ing was your best excuse for saying "get off me", try harder with a better excuse next time...*****

***** if coming up with ridiculous words was your best excuse for saying "you're bugging me, stop irritating me", try harder again next time*****

***** if simply not caring or bothering was your best excuse for saying "you're damn disgusting, get lost eeeeewwwwwwww", try harder again next time*****

in any case, your excuses are all L-A-M-E... just try harder next time.....

2007-02-11T11:56:00.000+08:00

yeah, last nite's stj rox man..

went choir yesterday, had combined.. damn my throat was still sore, can't sing properly.... met up with senior shao kai at class bench after choir at noon, then went coro had lunch, and suay suay met some choir seniors whom i pang seh'd :p went around coro to get some presents for my angel, and shared the costs for a few presents for some others with shao kai.. walao spent a lot of money sia, but i guess it was worth it..

went down to somerset to meet up with other guys.. but before that shao kai and i went to coffee bean to write a song :) for jasmine sia, waaa spent close to an hour racking our brains to write something meaningful, tho it turned out pretty funny at the end, but still i guess it was alrite ba.. finished up the tasteless iced tea then went heeren meet up with the others guys who already there.. walked around carrying all thos bags of presents (quite malu, but who cares) went to cineleisure to play a bit of pool, then went back to heeren for stj..

stj dinner was great, the food was damn nice, and damn filling.. after that gave out the presents, then shao kai and i presented the song for jasmine, rite in public sia, lucky he got bring his guitar haha.. wa but we're like damn nervous, cos the song was really quite funny content, tho it still sounded not too bad.. i was shivering down there while singing with shao kai lar, then everyone else for laughing.. siann diao... haha then cock up something for chen xiao as well (damn corny one :p, but at least its the thought :) ) after dinner went play pool for a lil while then went home..

slept only at 2 this morning, cos was chit chatting with another fren... now im still quite tired, but already afternoon, dun feel like sleeping... maybe play a bit of dota, brush up my skills :)

2007-02-07T20:51:00.000+08:00

9 feb.. 2 more days.. its so damn fast..
too damn fast.. its still too early into the year, i dun want to get crushed in disappointment..

i've not had any good rest or sleep.. im stressing myself out over this results crap.. this whole things scaring the hell out of me.. im so lethargic.. im so tired.. i've got no mood to do anything, nothing at all...

and so i wish, that you'll always be with me, to keep me company, to talk me through this disturbing period.. but nonetheless i know its impossible for me to grab hold of you..

it seems that all hope is lost, all my chances have faded away.. or is it just me that i've given up hope? i dun care, i dun really care much.. its not as if i can change anything or make a significant difference..

to think that every cloud has a silver lining.. like reaalllll......

2007-02-04T06:15:00.000+08:00

woohooo!!! i've just got a new tv for my living room, new BIG SCREEN TV MAN!!! flat one somemore, can haolian liao HARHARHAR~~~

but seriously i guess it's the time to get a new tv for my living room, the old one was like a big fat toshiba -.-" and now the colour is screwed up, every image delivers a reddish kind of image, distorted like that, its damn irritating..

at least by monday i'll have a new incentive for me to get home early from school everyday! :):)

thinking of gettin a new phone cover and martin's field for my k800i as well, both are really scratched, almost cannot make it le..

wow this chinese new year really is gettin rid of old stuff and buying neww stuff man, think im gonna have lotsa new additions to watever i already have in my house....

2007-01-21T13:18:00.000+08:00

a new printer, monitor, radically change cpu system, new game to last 10 hours, full nites rest with some extra sleep added and an almost complete set of homework makes junyao extremely happy boy...

at least the last point is to say how hardworking i am.. hey, i woke up at 6 plus this morning to do the pile of tutorials on my table... i was supposed to do them last nite, but i reached home last nite because of a wonderful day out of home..

had choirfrom 10.30 to 3 yesterday.. note 10.30, and wat time did i reach school? 9.30, for wat?? to check out the photocopy chop and office to see if i could collect our class new timetable... and the point is? 5 day week sucks, cos it wasted my time walking around the school to find that almost every office in the school was closed....

lunch was with my section near the school... got to know at least my seniors in the section better... after that, back to choir which was pretty much ok..

had my og gathering after choir.. went down to nicole's house which was EXTREMELY HUGE.. omg like one of the biggest i've seen... even the doors are relatively big man.. imagine the horror to clean up every single spot in the house......

anyway, played a bit of cards with the og mates discreetly, but shifted to board games after that.. MONOPOLY, but only a small group of us, the rest were chatting away at another corner... haha we were just enjoying ourselves laughing away at each other for landing at another property, then paying up blah blah... had pizza for dinner as well.. then only returned home later around 8.30, but the freakin 156 was so damn long lor, took nearly half hourto come to the busstop, tmd....

sian there's still some work left to do, guess i'll quickly complete them all by nite ba.....

2007-01-19T22:02:00.000+08:00

silence is torturous.. silence is heart-breaking.. its not anywhere near golden..

i wish to hear from you, yet you walk past me, unknown of my existence, unknown of where you stand in my mind..

of the few when you did notice, we could never stop to say a bit of hi.. we seem like strangers, yet all i want is to just talk to you, face to face.. i see your smile, your presence which brightens my day.. yet all you do was to raise a hand and mouth the word "hello", when all i wanted was to have a chat, not for long, but just a while, yet it all seemed impossible... and all i could do, was to raise my hand, and watch you walk away into the distance..

i fear myself.. i have no confidence.. i am downright inferior to the guys that you hang out with.. you seem to enjoy your time with them.. i am afraid, much too afraid to approach you.. it seems that for you to know me was a total waste of your time.. but i'll still hold on, to the slightest of glimmering hopes..

i feel so lonely, my world has grown dark and quiet, clouds which beckons the deepest of sorrows.. when is the day when i see your face again, or rather, when is the day i can summon myself to walk up to you, to speak to you, instead of fear rejection..

i wish that you can hear me, my cries for your attention.. you who filled a most important place within, emptied for the last decade.. you seem so close, but yet so far from me.. so near, but so distant...

its unbearable, this silence between us..

2007-01-18T21:29:00.000+08:00

im so damn tired, and there's still so much things to do!!!

just returned home from coro, had dinner with some classmates at prince.. then we were like chatting and laughing around, talking about things we dun normally talk about, playing games....

it was then that i realised even more just how wonderful this life is... back in sec school it was pretty rare for a few classmates to actually gather round to have dinner and chit chat, tho life back then was a bit more comfortable cos there were like only guys around and we can just talk about crap and noone cared much about wat we were doing... now jc life is just filled with endless fun and laughter, there's so much more things to discover within our class, and i dun feel sick or tired to be out with them, be it for meals or just gatherings...

and i now really appreciate the friends that i had who were always with me back then and even now, like adriel or anybody else.. we went thru the last 2 years together and never once had i thought how important he would be in helping me come this far, but not just him, even my other frens with whom i place my trust in greatly.. and never once had they disappoint me, thanks so much you guys :)

and now, as we walk down this new journey set ahead of us filled with new and even greater obstacles, i can be sure that not just old friends, even new friends will be there to guide and aid each other through.. that's the kind of spirit that i wish and hope to see, and i know that as we move on, that's the kind of spirit that everyone will have..

just some mindless, no-link ramblings.. dun treat this too seriously, im just over-reacting..